The Illusion of Fear

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The Illusion of Fear

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Fear is a creation of the mind, an illusion! It drips in bit by bit to the point that we stop ourselves from being who we truly are. Why do we listen to rubbish that feeds our minds with more and more fear?

What is it about fear we are willing to give up and run away? We forget who we are, what we are doing or being. We start to doubt life, ourselves and our abilities, we feel small and incapable, then we run or hide. We even make ourselves sick with this Illusion called Fear.

Fear is an illusion, it is a lie to keep you small, to keep you in the box, controlled.  Answer and acknowledge a power in fear and you will create ever growing blocks and limitations for yourself.

Can you remember the last time you really wanted to do something, but didn’t do it? What was it that stopped you, what turned you off the idea? Was it that voice inside your head?

The mind chatter that invades your head, confirming the fear, making it the most significant thing in your life, giving you all the reason why you should fear what you are fearing, and it gets loader and loader, and more intense, and more intense. Oh we have all been there.

What if this mind chatter is not really yours, not your thoughts? What if you are picking up on stuff just floating on the universal plain, the collective consciousness. Have you ever had a brain wave and the person beside you said it at the same time your saying the same thing, you know what I’m talking about, I know you do. Was that your thought or was it theirs?, or was it just on a thought on a cosmic wave, waiting to be found, and expressed?

We are so capable, we have amazing abilities that we deny having and using, yet we use them everyday but we like to believe it is something else, if we can’t see it, it does not exist.

So fear, is it real at all, because at some stage in life we all have overcome some type of fear. Tell me what was at the other side of that fear, that  you saw as impassable? Was it as bad as you thought? And as you transcended that fear, what happened?

What replaced the fear? Was it excitement? was it amazement or exhilaration, or pure joy? Many time we misidentify the energy that is in our bodies, we have names that imply one thing but it’s another, as a child we may have been misinformed, and we have locked it into us.

Butterflies in your tummy have to mean fear, it could not be excitement – or could it? ?

Fear is placed in your life from a very early age in childhood and then reinforced and reinserted all the way through your life. This reinforcement shows us how real it is, and it becomes more and more real as we are not willing to look at it.

Picture yourself in Sydney, and you are heading to Climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Butterflies come in, and your mind brings you to your fear of height and you run away and you miss out on spectacular views, the experience of a lifetime. What have you gained? What have you missed out on?

Now see yourself well over half way and the views and the sense you get from being where you are, and knowing you maneuvered around that barrier that is fear, look back, is that fear there, can you see that block now, hell no, you are buzzin. The fear was a lie, something made up.

Fear, It isn’t real unless we create it to be. It doesn’t have power over you unless you give it the power. It doesn’t rule your life unless you let it rule your life. You have the key, you have the controls, is time to take back your life, and follow your dreams?

Are you ready to step into who you true are, and be that in totality and create the magic that is you? You are on a high, loving every minute in total joy and excitement.

When fear pops up, I remind myself that behind that wall, that barrier is my desired life and living and my dreams. We must stay fully present with what we call fear, we need to study everything about it, what it looks like, feels like, what it does to you, how it starts, what is involved, be with this fear, what thoughts bring it, and what it brings, what choices and actions do we take. The action of avoiding is the fear itself, so not avoiding it makes it vanish, and you transcend it. Fear is simply a choice. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Walk toward and through it and it is gone.

I have too many tools that I use to ease that movement past these blocks and fears, If you would like more information or a skype coaching session please get in contact.

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Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress Stress

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Feeling your Pulse galloping?

Brow furrowed?

Beads of sweat on the forehead?

Barely able  to breathe?

Is it time to change something?

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When the pressures and demands exceed your capabilities, stress and anxiety soon raise their ugly heads. Stress was something I never thought I would ever suffer from or even though I was effected by.  If anything stress made me operate in a more effective manor, especially in work and college, give me a deadline and I worked in the most effective way possible, even without thinking, everything just went into flow, go go go and I was buzzing on it, at work it was like a dance. After years of the same thing stress was not even a word I would use to describe my work, as I enjoyed it.

Then a different stress came into my life, an emotional stress, from worrying about a family member who had become ill, and all that came with this. I had to take leave from my job, and care for her until she passed away. I coped with all that, when I returned to work, my bosses were not very nice, and treated me shockingly. I ended up at my doctors in floods of tears and he just looked at my in surprise as he’d seen me for months, and he saw how i coped in a very stress filling situation. He put be off work, on work related stress, and I remained off for about 18 to 24 months. It was the two  different stresses hitting, like a train crash, they collided and knocked me off the tracks.

There are so many different types of stress, and so many ways of naming them an I’m not even going to try to do that here. We can cope with so much short term stress, but when the short term stress becomes a normal everyday thing, (shall we call it chronic stress ) and we do not address it. The worst thing about chronic stress is that people get used to it. They forget it’s there. They ignore it because it is old, familiar, and sometimes, a place of comfort.  Long term this type of stress can create many physical illness, as well as mental issues. Stress often kills via suicide, violence, heart attack, stroke and even cancer. Most disease is causes by stress, Just look at the word Dis-ease.

So since I fell off the tracks I went on an adventure of self healing and self discovery and when I found something I liked and found it worked I trained in it, I don’t do things by half. I have changed my whole life, I am sitting here, smiling, happy, little or no stress, and how did I get so lucky?

If you would like to step off you need to devise a plan and take some actions which can get you back on track, or at least get you heading in the right direction. Wallowing in despair, spinning in circles will never solve or change what is going on. Reducing  chronic stress is a must, and bringing stress into balance.

Once I started moving in the right direction after six months I saw a big difference after nine months to a year I found myself smiling to myself driving my car all alone for no reason, yes smiling ear to ear, stress free, in total ease and joy.

What have I used, so many things, but what has worked for me, Access Consciousness bars and body work, Energy Healing, Personal Coaching, Dance, and Sound Healing with Tibetan bowls.

Reducing stress addresses a lot more than you may think, so if you are ready to choose this, get in contact.

Market

www.deeoconnor.com            deeoconnor@email.com        +353(0)871215735

Happy people realise happiness is a Choice.

 

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Do you wake up happy every day?

Or do you wake up with the darkness of depression, judgment, worry, is anxiety weighing you down and keeping you stuck and unhappy?Do you see no way out, and everyone around you are their thoughts, feelings and emotions solidifying your unhappiness?

Do you love to laugh? Do you like the sense of joy, the feeling of bliss? Do you relish the feeling of happiness? What does happiness look like to you?Image

Okay, If your mind is now saying, what the hell is this person on about and you are about to shout, cry, or close this page, as you know that the darkness will never lift, happiness is not something that happens to you, just know that I get it, I’ve been there, and I’ve changed it.

We have the power to make ourselves happy, we just require the awareness and knowing that this is a possibility. So are you ready to be happy, to create a happy life and living? To create a phenomenal life and living, not just surviving but thriving!

Are you willing to make a choice in this ten seconds to start moving towards happiness instead of moving away from it? Happiness is a choice. In this moment are you willing to choose to be happy?

Do you know when you are happy? What is you expectations? Have you made happiness so significant that you don’t recognize it anymore? Start noticing what being happy feels like, what energy comes up, what are the physical sensations?

Once you start observing yourself and noticing what you sense you will start to know what happiness is. When you catch yourself being happy it might be very subtle, it can just be a smile, a lightness, perhaps your body feels more relaxed. It can feel like a buzz of constant energy flowing around and though the body, and you start smiling from the inside. It can be a tickle, or giggle!

What if you have been misidentifying and misapplying happiness as something else? Could you actually be happy and calling it sadness, fear, worry, stress, down time, anxiety, grief?

A primary cause of unhappiness is the monkey mind, the inner chatter, it is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of your thoughts. Everywhere you align and agree or resist and react creates points of view. Once you buy this point of view as true for you, it creates and locks in limitations and change is no longer possible. Knowing this empowers you to know that happiness is a choice we make.

Another interesting point is that happiness comes from with in, and if you are to build happiness as something sustainable we need to be able to enjoy your own company, to embrace everything about yourself. When you can make yourself happy no one can take it away from you, as you are the key to your own happiness. This is the most important step towards being a happy person.

If you could see how amazing you are, as a being, as a person, as a contribution to the world, and the value you are, then you could only be happy, you would have no reason for being unhappy.

Happy people realise happiness is a choice. Be the light you want to see in the world, once you shine the world will follow. Are you willing to be the brilliance you truly are? So what are you waiting for? Be it! Choose it!

 

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Positive Mindset – Change the pattern, change your life! 

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Change the pattern change your life!

You are unhappy and negative because of how you think.Your thoughts influence your feelings, your feelings influence your actions or behaviour. So change the way you think, and you can change your life.

 

Decide to be positive: 

We all have a choice, to be positive or negative, to be happy or sad, to be in a good mood or a bad mood, to love or to hate, to be a victim or to learn from our situation. What we need to understand is that even when we think we do not have a choice, we do, and it is that choice that colours our out look.

 

Do something that makes you happy: 

If you can, do something you enjoy to do, what ever it is, just do it and feel yourself starting to enjoy yourself, feel a smile, feel a happy feeling, feel a little bit of positivity entering your life.

 
Smile – fake it till you make it.

Put a smile on your face, even of you are faking it will made you feel happier and more positive. Try to keep smiling for about a minute. Amazingly the brain does not know the difference between a real and a fake smile. When we smile it has been found that our brain releases powerful neurotransmitters like endorphins and serotonin, these are our body’s natural happy drugs. Smiling also relieves stress, boosts your immune system and lowers your blood pressure.
Here is a ted video that you might like to watch.

Hidden power of smiling

 

Gratitude:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. ~  see my pervious post ‘An Attitude of Gratitude’

 

Choose to be around positive people.

Surrounding yourself with loving, supportive, positive people is very important. If you don’t believe me find someone negative, down on themselves and everyone and everything. Listen to complaining about stuff, feel the stress and tension in and around them. Life is too short to spend time with people who bring you down, suck the happiness, life, and energy out of you. Negative people can destroy our self-belief, and our dreams, leaving you drained and in the gutter.
Positive people have an inspiring energy, they raise your spirits up, they motivate you, and increase the feel good factor.

 

Self-talk – Challenge negative thoughts or self talk. 

Have you ever stopped and listened to what that voice in your head is saying. It’s an unconscious chatter that many people hardly even notice it. I often have an inner battle with this voice, this voice I call my gremlin.
Once you become aware of this voice you will be amazed, it will keep yapping and yapping, and very rarely it is positive talk, so we need to train it, be aware and catch it in the act. You need to create your own positive thought patterns. The aim here is to make these new statements just as unconscious as the current negative ones, we do this by repetition, try to repeat the positive thought pattern for at least 68 seconds, allowing to anchor in the unconscious, keep doing this until the negative statement you are aiming at changes.

 

Think abundance not lack.

Instead of thinking half empty, think half full, look at the bright side.

 

Don’t allow the past doesn’t dictate your future.

Just because something happened in the past does not mean it will happen again.

Or if your past was great, you may. Be finding your present dull and bleak, then thinking to your future can be looking dull as well.
Or you lost someone special, and you are reliving the if only …..
Living in the past will rob you of a meaningful and fulfilling, happy present and future.Live in the now! There is only now. The past in gone, the future may never come, so enjoy where you are right now this second.

 

Keep a diary

Try to keep it positive, but if you use it to get things off your chest, or express how you feel, go back and have a look at it when some time is passed. I journaled a lot after my mother was told she was terminally ill and when she died. I have from time to time looked back on what I have wrote and I can see how far I have come. I also found an old diary from when one of my brothers died and I was able to see my progress thought the grief and I was able to identify times I had felt down, I saw a pattern of being extremely down six months after a bereavement, this helped me to cope.

But as I said try to be positive, what is good in life, what is happening, what are you planning, what did you see today tat was beautiful, or something funny. If you are arty draw something, even a big smiley face. Journaling will help you realise that you can find opportunities in negative situations.

 

Remember that life is a journey. It is your choice, how enjoy it, where you go, what you do. 

And remember ‘it’s better to laugh then to cry’

~ Nancy O’Connor

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Spinning in circles in pure panic due to inner response to change

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Have you ever found yourself spinning in circles, in a panic not knowing what you are going to do in life next?

Something or someone just pulled the rug from under you?

Change is happening and you didn’t see it coming or you ignored it hoping it would pass but now you are in the middle of change and in a pure panic.

You have a choice, but no idea what is the right thing to do?

You have to do something but you do not see a path to take.

All you want to do is roll up and hide from the world.

In the last 10 years I’ve been there a few times!

Three very close bereavements, changing career, moving country, finishing a college degree, looking for employment, work related stress, made redundant, taking care of my terminally ill mother.

Yes, all very challenging times, but there were good things in between, but all of these situations have been a learning opportunity for me. Not that I took it that way when I was in the middle of the situations, but looking back at my ten year roller-coaster of life, I realise that life happens, change happens and many times we have no control over it, (one second of someone else’s life can change your life forever), but we do have control in how we react to the situation we are in, and in how we pick our selfs up and how we move forward.

Our inner response to a situation is key, key to our present and to our future state of mind, and this state of mind is what help form our actual present and future.

 

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Sometimes you just know what you are doing is what you are meant to be doing!

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Sometimes you find something in a book that needs to be repeated.


Just got this book today, just opened a random page and read it, made me smile as it is so true. Sometimes you just know what you are doing is what you are meant to be doing!

This is from Making the big leap by Suzy Greaves.

Ten ways to tell when your inner coach is speaking to you.

  • Your decision ‘feels’ right.
  • You ‘just know’ that this is the right path.
  • You are very clear about what you want.
  • You feel relaxed and happy about your decision.
  • You feel like you’re in ‘the flow’. Coincidences start happening. ‘you’ll never believe it…’ is your favorite phrase.
  • You feel a flicker of excitement in your stomach.
  • You trust your intuition even though you have no evidence to back it up.
  • Even though life doesn’t look as if it necessarily going in the right direction, you know it is.
  • You find yourself inspired with ideas more often than before.
  • You begin to trust your decisions.
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An Attitude of Gratitude

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An Attitude of Gratitude is a powerful tool to creating a happy life.

Gratitude is an incredible thing! Some believe that it may be the single most effective way to increase happiness.

I have engaged gratitude and appreciation in my life, and have found that it has help me through a few very difficult times over the last year.

We all come across situations where we just want to roll up in the corner and wish the world would disappear. I know how easy it is to do that, but I have learn that finding even the smallest thing in our darkest day can turn us around, and the light at the end of the tunnel gets a little brighter. Even during bad times, especially during the bad times, we should and need to focus on the good we have, whatever that may be.

Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present. In general people tend to take for granted the good that is in their lives, just focusing on the negative. Noticing simple pleasures in life brings you away from the feeling of lack, maintaining a high level of positive-thinking.

Happiness always comes from within yourself. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. If you think it is from external things or on other people you become vulnerable. Happiness is a journey not a destination, and If you wait until you arrive at a happy place, you may miss a lot of the joy on the way.

Behavioural scientists tell us that if we do something consistently for 21 days, it becomes a habit.

What to do, just write 3 to 10 things that you are grateful and appreciate, do this everyday for the 21 days, you’ll find yourself continuing pass the 21 days, I know I did. Don’t worry if you end up repeating yourself sometimes, just get writing.
Start the statement with ‘I am grateful and appreciate ……….’

It can be something as simple as:
‘I am grateful and appreciate the eyes i have to read this post!’
‘I am grateful and appreciate my life’
‘I am grateful and appreciate that it is not raining’
‘I am grateful and appreciate my loving friends and family’

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. —Denis Waitley

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